The patient I lost in my first month

Three weeks into residency I made a clean decision that ended badly. The supervising attending taught me what to do with the weight of it.

The path, in milestones.

1. 2022

   The decision

   A man came in with chest pain at 3 AM. I worked the protocol. Everything correct on paper. He coded at 6 AM. The protocol was correct; medicine wasn't enough.

   Lesson: Doing the right thing and getting a bad outcome are not the same failure.
2. 2022

   The corridor conversation

   My attending walked me to the stairwell. She said: 'You will carry this. You will not carry it alone.' Then she told me about her own first.

   Lesson: Older practitioners carry the same weight; they just walk slower with it.
3. 2024

   Walking a junior through hers

   She paged me from the same stairwell. I told her what was told to me. We sat for ten minutes. Then we went back upstairs.

   Lesson: Mentorship is mostly being available in the corridor.